I'm sick and I'm working my butt off

I am amazed at how hard I can work and how much I can get done at home on a sick day. It is truly amazing.

Dude. I'm SO Back

So, I'm just gonna be all around honest about something. A deep dark secret. Something I have thought about posting but was too shy or embarrassed or humiliated, or whatever to post about.

You see, I have an obsession. A very unhealthy one. One I cannot break, for fear I will miss some crucial bit of information in the first seconds it comes available.

I am addicted, PAVLOV'S-DOG-TYPE-ADDICTED, to the red LED light that blinks on my blackberry.

Isn't the first step to admit I have a problem?

You see, no matter where I am, be it a meeting, a dinner party, laying on the couch in sweatpants watching Gossip Girls, I can just sense that little red light flashing at me. And by sense, I mean see, as I always keep that baby well within my visual range. And when I see the beautiful glow of red flashing at me from a distance, I MUST IMMEDIATELY STOP WHATEVER I AM DOING AND RUN TOWARDS IT LIKE IT IS THE TUNNEL TO HEAVEN.

Because its flashing. And the flashing must mean "Someone Wants You To Know Something; Someone Thinks You Are Important; Someone Wants To Get Your Attention" and I mean, who does not love to be wanted like that.

Once I run towards the light, pushing any and all obstacles aside(yes, even including the Real Housewives), I MUST check what is causing the flashing. Every time. No matter what else is going on. BECAUSE SOMEONE WANTS ME! I AM URGENTLY NEEDED!

I do not have a choice.

And you know what? Do you? Inevitably, after I have interrupted my night, tossed aside my dear friends Blair and Serena for the comfort of the red flashing light, the light leads to a very urgent and important message just for me...

Subject Line:
Ready For More Satisfaction? Increase your penis size by up to 4 inches

Yeah. Awesome.

Has it really been this long?

Wow! There was a time I could barely contain myself and wanted to write twice in a day. Now...its all work and pretty much no play around here. Still there are happenings in the Mrs. Musings household and I have missed sharing them with my sweet internet friends.

For one, Jerry has finished his season. This happily coincides with the beginning of the holidays, otherwise known as the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. Its this time of year that I can look forward to both of us having weekends off, when the weather in San Diego is at its most sunny, yet not too hot, and when there are so many festivals, parties, and football games to keep us busy. We recently attended the Festa Italia in Little Italy. One of my very favorite Festas where I can eat rice balls right off the cart, just like back in my days in Rome. The amount of foodstuff I bought at this festival even has me overwhelmed. Oh the cooking I must do.

For two, CHRISTMAS IS COMING AND THE TURKEY IS GETTING FAT!!! I could not love this season more. I am a huge fan of a big dinner on Thankgiving to hold me over during my Black Friday shopping excursion. I always go to Black Friday alone. I learned years ago that there is no one that can keep up with my stamina on that day. And ya know what, I don't care at all that I could do the shopping online. I have a whole pattern of activity on Black Friday that I look forward to...I'll leave that to write about as it gets closer. Ah...Black Friday: my second favorite holiday of the year.

I really hope I can get back into my blog. I miss it. But I will tell you, it is so hard to start up again. I've lost a bit of my mojo. I forget how to type anything other than emails and accounting memos. And when I get done with my day, opening a computer is especially tiring to think about. I'm still reading your blogs though and am super excited about people continuing to stop by and say hi.

I'm back! I hope! And I cannot wait to share the holidays with you!

My Blogroll is like My DVR

The busier I get, the more my blogroll is a good time to be had on the weekend. Similar to how I DVR pretty much every single weekly show I like so I can veg out on the weekend, I am loving how my blogroll provides endless entertainment every Sunday. Football playing in the background, I read everyone's blogs like they are my chapters in an ongoing novel I love. Yeah, I may miss the constant writing and communications, but let me tell you, blogs can be pure entertainment reading a week at a time. With no strings attached.

Perfect Wife + Worker?

Yes, I know there is no such thing as a "Perfect Wife." And I'm probably being way too hard on myself. But, with the changes in my daily work life, I am having an incredibly hard time keeping up on the home front. And while I totally am aware that the schedule will change for the better in the not-so-near future, and while Jerry supports me 100% regardless, I can't help but let the GUILT creep in. Because I'm a woman, and GUILT is what I do best.

Here are some of the things I could not do on the home front this week:
1. I could not participate in the dog walking every day. I always try to do family walk, because it is my favorite time of the day (morning) and it gives us time to talk about our plans for the day. But, it doesn't always get to happen.

2. I did not cook dinner one time this week. Used to be that I would cook at least 3 different meals during the week - the kinds with meat, veggi, and starch. You know, balanced and whatnot. This week, we survived on leftovers and on whatever Jerry wanted to cook. Jerry doesn't mind cooking at all, and he did cook some good dinners. But I like that to be my job. Because, to be quite honest, I don't have many household jobs at this point. Its nice to spoil my husband with good meals at least.

3. Eating together. Along with the cooking, I also was unable on certain occassions to make it home to eat on time. So, I ate after Jerry and the Bood.

I am so loving my job right now, and it is so exciting to be moving up in my career. I am so lucky to have the total support of a husband that will not complain about late hours or not having fresh made meals. But, is it possible to be the perfect wife and be the perfect worker? Probably not perfect, but I will tell you what, Internet Friends: I am going to give it my all!

Believe me! Its Good News!

Dear Blog Friends and Internet Buddies,

Please excuse Mrs. Musings from her recent absence. She was recently promoted at her job and is focusing on keeping her head above water. She may be absent more often in the next few weeks, but will return to her regularly scheduled postings as soon as she is able.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Musings' Owner (aka, her career)

The One(s) That Got Away

From the time I was about 10 and had a crush on my 16 year old neighbor to the time I fell in love with my husband, I have been in a perpetual state of mourning "the one that got away". Sure, over time, the "one" changed from Mike to Beau to Mike to Sean to Shawn to X to Y to Z. But there always seemed to be "one" and he always seemed to have "gotten away".

See, I was not a girl that did the breaking up. At least not in the literal sense. I guess my self esteem was too low, or I was too scared there would never be another "one". Maybe I liked the victim role, with all its doting girlfriends, drinks purchased to cheer me up, reasons listed of why he was not good enough for me.

What I did instead was push the "one(s)" away when I was done. If it was a clingy "one", I'd be distant. If it was an independent "one", I'd cling and nag. Always knowing in the back of my mind what I was doing, but never wanting to be the person to actually say I was outta there.

And then, after all that work getting rid of them the very hardest and most round about way, I'd wallow. Thus always being in a constant state of the "one that got away". Oh did I take breakups hard! I mean, clinically depressed, want to jump off a bridge hard. Oh how I wish I could go back to each of those moments and tell myself what I know now. None of those guys was even close the "The One".

I could list the reasons why I'm glad that each "one" got away. I've honestly spent years making those lists, trying to get through the whole break up stage. Those lists would take up several blog entries, to be sure.

But in the end, knowing what I know now, there is only ONE real reason I am so glad those others got away...



And its because he is THE ONE for me.

***This was an assignment from MamaKat's Writer's Workshop. To see who else is participating, click here.

Ready for Fall

There comes a time every year when I am completely and totally done with summer. Mostly, that time comes when I am ready to bust out the fall wardrobe. Because I do love the whole lazy day, laying by the pool, I am tan and beautiful aspects of summer. But working in a freezing cold office day after day, yet having to also dress for the 100 degree weather outside, well, it takes a toll on my sanity (and also, my sinuses).

Speaking of the freezing cold office thing...WHY? Why do people think the appropriate temperature of an office is 65 degrees? I mean, 80 would feel cool after coming in from 100 degrees outside. But 65? That is too cold. ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY! No one likes it (at least, no women like it). Not to mention that having the air conditioner turned so low requires me to use a heater in my office, thus utilizing twice the electricity. THE HORROR!

Anyway, back to fall, I have some pretty cool fall clothes this year (I am so loving the long, belted flannel shirts, I DIE DIE DIE - Just like Rachel Zoe).

(from Old Navy for $29 - so soft and fitted I do DIE!)

And I have my new tall boots.


(these are not the ones I have, but look like them; mine are black. I also need to get to a discount store for some of the flat boots - particularly as my knee continues to prohibit me wearing heels for any length of time.)

And the long flowey sweaters.


(gotta love Express!)

And the fall colors (of clothes, not trees. There is no such thing as changing leaves in southern CA).

And soon it will be time to decorate for Halloween, and thanksgiving, and Christmas. Its seriously the most wonderful time of the year. I am SO ready!

My Faves

2 of my faves:

I love, love, love

Through the Looking Glass

and

The Book of Mormon...

and I'm not even actively Mormon.

Like Chinese Water Torture

Its true folks. My lack of blogging ambition/energy/enthusiasm/motivation is annoying me. Well, its not actually the lack of that stuff annoying me so much as my blog calling to me, saying "write a post NOW", with pure disregard of the lack of ambition/energy/enthusiasm/motivation.

In order to withdraw myself from the constant drip, drip, drip of guilt over my near abandonment of my precious blog, I have become determined to find an answer to why I my mind shuts like a steel trap at the sight of an empty New Post.

So far, my brainstorming has uncovered three truths as to why blogging is becoming more difficult and less amusing than it used to be.

1. My blog is not anonymous. People I know read it. People that are neighbors, relatives and (possibly worst of all) coworkers. (WAIT! That didn't come out right! You guys are THE BEST! THE BEST!). Because I didn't set up the blog to be anonymous, I constantly fear being a casualty in the economic downturn (aka fired for even mentioning my work life on my blog). So I do not. Issue is, however, that I spend a plump, yet healthy chunk of my waking hours at work. My only regular and meaningful daily interactions with human beings that are not my husband occur at work. Leaving work out of my blog is like minimizing my blog to include only the two hours at night that are spent coherent before bed. And if I'm honest, those hours are mainly spent mindlessly watching reality TV or reading your blogs.

In addition to not writing about work, my darling husband would like me to write only about his most wonderful traits. Because someone may find this blog and connect it to his business, and then think, "you mean this guy actually gives his wife a play by play of his daily golf game...what is the guy doing playing daily golf anyway?" and disregard him as a slacker. Which he most assuredly is not. But I can understand his point.

Now, I'm the first to admit, there would be relatively little to even discuss about my husband currently. He is pretty amazing. I never need to ask him to clean the house, take out the trash, do the gardening, etc. Mostly because he notices the need to do these things looooooong before I ever would. But he does them all, without any complaint or even so much as a boast of his efforts. He also treats me like the princess that I pretend to be, takes me on weekly dates (of his own accord), and regularly tells me I look pretty.

But, c'mon. All of that stuff does not make for the most entertaining and funny blog fodder. I mean, I know there are bloggers that solely discuss the wonder that is their husband. But all husbands, roommates, friends, people in general do things that are funny/annoying/crazy and make for entertaining and relateable blog posts. Sadly for you, I love my husband and I have to live with the man, so I do tend to understand (and even, mostly, acquiesce) when he wants me to tone it down on the blog.

So, I'm basically screwed from the get-go on the lack of anonymity.

2. I'm afraid to say this aloud as a backlash will almost certainly occur, but at the present time, my life is amazingly stable. The stability is most likely a form of me meeting my life's quota for drama and insanity prior to my turning 31. As in, prior to turning 31, my life had been mostly depression and angst, with some very brief times of joy mixed in to keep me alive. Oh My God! PLEASE I BEG YOU KNOCK ON WOOD RIGHT THIS MINUTE. The last time that I wrote about my life being stable, I broke my knee and my independence was reduced to that of a potty-trained, but otherwise very dependant young child (thankfully, diapers were not needed during that time). But, I'm not going to delete #2 because that would be ridiculous as the powers that be have already seen me write it and there is pretty much no hiding from the backlash now. UNLESS, YOU IMMEDIATELY KNOCK ON WOOD!!!

And the final reason for my lack of blogging mojo:

3. I do not have children. I am in a state of not-not-trying to have a baby, but I am not in a state where I feel the need to worry about the fact that the not-not-trying has yet to produce an embryo. That said, blogging when one has children is decidedly easier than when one does not, particularly when that one is also omitting work and funny things about her husband from this non-anonymous blog.

So, there you have it. I have probably just given you three reasons to never come to my blog for entertainment again (I'm a genius at positive and enthusiastic self promotion after all). But do come. Because I am going to figure this thing out.

Suggestions are always appreciated.